Platform:
Commodore 64
Release
Date: can’t be arsed to find out.
D: Ok, what
the hell have you loaded up to VICE this time, you miserable cunt?
L: OI! No
need to be rude! I was bored so I thought I’d play a nice game of Mama Llama.
D: Oh.
Wasn’t it that game that people hated because it was too bloody hard, and also
loved it BECAUSE it was too hard?
L: Yea, and
you must remember that in this game you didn’t fire any bullets, but you
controlled this slippery droid called “Killodroid”.
D: Who Made
This?
L:
Llamasoft
D: Oh it’s
one for the Hardcore shootie fanatics then, is it?
L: Yea, you
could call it that, but the fact that you don’t shoot anything, rather you move
the droid and RAM the enemies to oblivion with it.
D: Where’s
the fun in that?
L: Try for
yourself
(At this
point I started the game, and gave the joystick to D, explaining how the droid
was taken into control, as well as what you could do with the mama llama and
her baby llamas. D played it for about 2 minutes…then….)
D: FUCK!
Dead already?
L: Told
you, it’s a really difficult game. Because of this, the people of Zapp64 and
Yak got into a bit of a skirmish over this. Yak defended his product, while the
people at Zapp slagged it off, and nearly took it behind the sauna to shoot it.
The thing is that the droid idea was to difficult for people to handle in that
era. There are still old scars about this game, and people tend to be quiet
about it.
D: I can
see why, it’s nearly impossible to stay alive in this game, when the game over
screen usually comes after 2 minutes of game time! I mean, the movement of the
droid reminds me of a game where the slip factor is high, much like those ice
levels in Super Mario Bros. 2.
L: I think
That it was made that way on purpose, in order to give it a challenge.
Although, this game was made pre analogue controllers, so the speed stays the
same. If there hasd been anaglogue controllers, I think that if you’d pushed
the stick gently, the droid would have moved slower, also, with turning, or
taking the droid to another direction, would have been done faster, if you had
been able to turn it slowly.
D: Yeah,
but it’s kind of meaningless now, innit? Unless Yak decides to re-make it for
XBLA, I think that the difficulty level will be lowered to the modern
audiences, but of course, with Neon engine, it would have even more psychedelic
screens
L:
Smeghead!
D: WHAT DID
YOU CALL ME!?!?!
L: you
ALREADY CAN adapt the difficulty level to meet your own demands!
D: I CAN!
L: YES!
D: How?
L: ok….let’s
see
(L and D
enter the grid)
L: ok, see
the grid here?
D: Yeah,
all those tiles seem to have some sort of a colour code…
L: yes, and
see that gauge on the right, where it reads “Safe” and “Danger”?
D: Yes, I
see those.
L: Ok, so
take a look at the grid there…The colour of each tile represents the difficulty
level of that level. So, if you want to start on an easier level, you choose a
tile where the colour is closest to Green, if you want a harder level, the
darker the harder.
D: But
what’s that weird block going lower and lower?
L: urmmm…I
don’t know, but I think that it represent the time you got left to choose a
level, and of it’s really low when you choose a level, then that level’s going
to be bloody hard.
D: huh, did
you know, I remember hearing that WHILE you’re playing a level, the enemy
population of each level grows the same time?
L: yeah, I
remember, but I also remember that if you survived a level, you could insert
these weird lil thingies that halted the growing of the enemy population…
D: so,
basicly there’s also some strategic elements in the game as well?
L: I think
so, but you know me, I’m always too busy to starts playing that I seldom read
the manual closely :D
D: I just
paused the emulator and noted “insert retrogenesis device” and “insert
antigenesis device2. What could those mean?
L: think that the antigenesis device stops the
enemy population from growing…..
D: Well,
when I insert one, it reads “danger” and I can’t enter the level……
L: hmmm…
D: anyway,
time for conclusions?
L: you
First
D:
thankyew. I think htat this game really was far ahead it’s own time. I didn’t
get the grasp of the strategy that you’re supposed to apply on this game, but I
thinkt ht the killodroid system was a really neat idea, because you had to make
the llama go slower in order to get the enemies, which of course added the
danger of getting killed. However, the regeneration in modesty was also a great
idea. I also noticed that you oculd abort a level as well as Zap it. A bit
confusing at times, but if you want to build an image as a hard core gamer, I
think that you will be one after you stay alive in Mama Llama for an hour.
L: I think
that the game is fabulous. High octaine and adrenalia surge through my veins as
I play the game, trying to ah ah ah ah stay alive. I do think that a re-make is
in order, maybe just to hone some aspects of the game IN ORDER TO MAKE IT EVEN
MORE DIFFICULT. Plus, the strobe background could be replaced with an
interactive Neon Ackground htat could be controlled by controllers 2-4. Of
course, I could be wrong
D: Where’s
that booze you promised me?
L: in the
frigde
D: Ta.
The end.